REALIXATION er REALIZATION
I am a dreamer... One who has believed that I would gracefully overcome the psychological abnormality I have developed over the past half century. I say this because I have defeated myself with inbred stubbornness not recognizing 'the helping hands' that may of taken me to a more successful path in life. I have recounted my past a myriad of times, thinking myself into a state of expressionistic quandary. Everyone is troubled at times, I would have thought I could become overwhelmingly optimistic once leaving the cold east coast, returning to the 'warm' west coast. My impulsiveness throughout my life proved itself to lead toward personal haplessness. Attempts to reach a comfortable lifestyle without being sidetracked by all the evil that surrounds us daily has led me to believe that I was never meant to be successful in my latter years... I am believing that I am a social misfit who actually thinks if you treat others as you would want to be treated, all would go well. I think... and I hurt because I think~ without taking action or go through life waywardly hoping that dreams will actually come true... One must make them happen... I have yet to make the important dreams happen. I refuse to manipulate people for any reason especially to become prosperous. I offered all of myself in the past, and may have turned those away because I did so. I am writing now because I can... soon there may come a day when I will no longer be able to express myself. I am not quite sure of how to continue with myself at this particular moment, But, I am conquering my faults and actually accepting the things I cannot change. Courage in oneself at these critical crossroads of emotional distress must be mustered in order to fulfill our destiny. Yea, though I walk through the Valley Of Death, I will fear no evil, ... don't ask... just a passing thought.
republished from an earlier time
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